OBSESSED is a living memoir of my 17-year quest to build Artizen — from idea to escape velocity and beyond. New episodes every week.
Read Previous → Episode 4: Bad Forecast
New lovers and old friends
Eric and I move to SF and start work at Hangtime, the company that “acquired” us. It’s run by Karl Jacob, a man with the Midas touch. Every morning, he sails from Marin, docks at the yacht club, then rolls into the office on a foldable bike. I’m impressed.
I get an apartment in Hayes Valley—hipster heaven—with a roommate named Joe, a good natured alcoholic working in enterprise sales.
To make rent, we need one more roommate, so I convince my best friend Ross Ulbricht to join me in San Francisco. We grew up together, skater nerds in the straight-laced suburbs of West Lake. He always saw the world different. Picking up on bandwidths of light invisible to most.
Ross moves in, and it’s the endless summer. We start our days at Ocean Beach, surfing before work. Ross is fearless—he paddles out past the break, diving under waves that crash like mountains.
Then I meet Selena. Her dating profile says she runs a Pilates studio in Oakland—stunning, fit, smart—way out of my league, but I yolo it. She responds! On our first date, we kiss before saying hello. Her skinny, wiry body hums with energy as we walk through a Buckminster Fuller exhibit, unable to focus on anything but each other.
Soon it’s the three of us—me, Selena, and Ross. Inseparable. Dinner parties, game nights, camping trips. We create alter egos, our names backward—Sor, Anelas, and Anar forever!
Selena asks me to live with her. I charter a private hot air balloon, and propose to her at the top of the world. We get drunk on champagne and crash-land in a cow pasture.
For a while, my obsession fades. This is enough. This is everything.
The last time I see Ross, he borrows the White Wolf—my old Toyota pickup—to gather wood for a bonfire on the beach. I say I’ll meet him there but never make it. I picture him surrounded by friends, flames casting shadows, howling at the moon, free.
Double life sentence
I wake up with a jolt. My phone is exploding. DING! DING! DING! Missed calls, messages from reporters.
Did Ross create the Silk Road? Was he the Dread Pirate Roberts? Care to comment on your best friend’s billion-dollar, dark web, drug empire?
Blood drains from my brain—I feel dizzy.
Throwing on clothes, I call Ross’s mom. He’s at the Oakland jail. I grab my keys, ready to head out. Then—a knock on the door. Two FBI agents. “Just here to talk,” they say, repeating it until it sounds more like a threat.
Ross is a currency trader. No, he never mentioned running the Silk Road on the side. No, I don’t use Tor. No, I don’t know his password. No, no, no. And it’s the truth. Ross never told me—or anyone—about the Silk Road. He knew it would put us at risk.
Selena and I race to the Oakland jail. Guards lead us through metal detectors and steel doors to a concrete hall of empty booths. Ross waits, alone, swallowed in an oversized jumpsuit. He climbs onto his side of the table. I do the same. We press our hands to the glass. No words. Just pain.
In the years that follow—through the trial and endless appeals—I watch the scales of justice buckle, crushed under the state’s fat thumb. Two life sentences plus 40 years—for building a website.
I think back to Costa Rica—years earlier. Ross took me on a hike upriver, to a waterfall. Without hesitation, he scaled the rocks and dove in from the top. I stood frozen, heart pounding. It looked reckless. But Ross never jumped blindly. He took calculated risks. Still, sometimes he got the math wrong.
Ross risked everything for what he believed. What was I willing to risk?
Love,
René Pinnell
Founder of Artizen
